10 Things you Think as a Designated Driver

Becoming the designated driver for the night is something we all dread, but it happens a handful in our life. Whether you’re on some medication which results in you not being able to drink, or you’ve got an early get up in the morning or (the most common reason) you’re absolutely skint, there comes a time where you step forward and help out your fellow friends.
Whilst they’re out doing their thing, you’re waiting for that ‘set off’ text, which is the text basically telling you ‘your horrendous night starts now’. There are so many things that run through our mind when we have sloppy drunk passengers, read below and check out a handful of them:

1. Do I charge them petrol money?

This is the biggest question of the night. They’re your friends so technically you shouldn’t take their money – but on the other hand, you’re moody and are having to put up with their loud and irritating voices so you should really be getting paid for this.

2. I wish I could drink…

The worst thing about being the designated driver – seeing other people having the time of their lives whilst you’re stone cold sober. It’s not fun.

3. Why do I even hang out with these people?

All you can hear is conversations which make no sense, your best friend telling you how much you mean to them and well, there’s always one emotional one crying about their relationship from over 3 years ago. All you can think to yourself is ‘why on earth do I hang out with these people?’.

4. Stop messing with my music

You’re being a decent human being by doing this solid favour for them, but they repay you by messing with your music. You should never mess with someone’s music, especially if they’re sober and moody.

5. If you’re sick in my car, I’ll rub your face in it

Basically. What more is there to say on the matter?

6. Leave the windows alone and stop pressing unnecessary buttons

It’s about -5 degrees outside, they probably can’t feel it because all they can feel is the vodka – but you’re the driver, you’re cold and this is your car.

7. Stop touching me

You’re trying to drop them off in a very busy town centre, there are hundreds of people walking in front of the car without a care in the world – but instead they cover your face. Great.

8. I wish you wouldn’t kiss in my car – there’s a time and a place and my backseat definitely isn’t the time nor the place.

In every friendship group, there’s a couple. A couple who have never heard of the word ‘privacy’. They are your friends, so as a friend, they shouldn’t be putting you through this.

9. These people will be the reason I end up in prison

Every single move they make and every single word they say is more annoying than a constant itch. These people can’t even speak properly, simple words turn into the hardest words and by this point they need to get out of the car before you react in way you’ve never reacted before.

10. I’m never doing this again

There we have it. You’re never doing this again.

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